Wake
by missmelon12
Summary: Artemis doesn't remember it all because, well, she was dead. But Wally hung around until almost the end. And it was all so, so very real. Takes place in the aftermath of 'Failsafe.'


**Author's Notes: **__This tore me to pieces to write. I can just imagine how hard it is on all of them to wake up from this, and how real it must feel to look back on all of it. I mean, in the beginning they knew it wasn't real so they didn't grieve, they were expecting all of the death and destruction, but by the end they thought it was real and they woke up thinking it was real, unable to remember. And regardless of if they knew or not, they still watched the entire league and then most of their team mates die in front of their eyes. And remembering that has got to be hard.__

**oOo**

Her whole body aches- not with physical pain, but with something else, something she can't place. Her head is fuzzy and she's still dizzy, even after the League checks her over and sends her on her way.

And by the time she does leave the infirmary, the halls are _empty._ Everyone has gone off on their own, and she doesn't know what happened after she- Well, after she _died_, but she can imagine that it was pretty awful. She'd seen the brief horror on Robin's face afterwards, and if even _he _was unnerved then it must have been-

She swallows thickly and tries to push it out of her mind. Some deep part of her is almost _thankful _that she was the first to go, that she didn't have to witness the team going through it all, grieving over her and struggling against the-

It wasn't _real_ though and she has to keep reminding herself, because it _felt _real, and it probably only felt _realer _for the rest of them after she-

No.

_No. _It wasn't real. She shouldn't dwell on it.

She shouldn't but- That's not how things work. And of course this is going to haunt the team for a while. Especially the ones who hung around the longest.

Especially Megan.

She wonders how long it will be until things can go back to normal. Until they can all talk and interact without _remembering _the look on her face as they all woke up- As they realized that this was _her _fault, that-

She doesn't blame Megan. She couldn't possibly blame Megan. And she doubts that anyone else on the team would ever blame her either.

Artemis sighs and reaches up to rub at her eyes, as if it will make the ache go away, or calm her thoughts, or-

"Artemis?"

She drops her arm down to her side and, really, she must look ridiculous standing there blinking stupidly around. She'd been too lost in thought to pay attention to where she was going, to even notice that she'd wandered into the kitchen, where Wally is slouched at the table, rolling an apple back and forth across the surface.

He spares her a quick glance before returning his eyes to the apple.

"Wally," she says and watches as he abandons the apple to draw his arms up under his head. He looks tired and defeated, as if everything that had just happened within the simulation, as if all the things she _hadn't _been there for, had really happened.

And suddenly she feels so so guilty for _dying _on them and not being there and for-

"I-I'm so sorry, Wally," she chokes out, reaching up to rub at damp eyes and- She's _not _crying, she has no reason to cry. It wasn't _real._

And even if it wasn't real, even if she wasn't there for most of it, the _ache _is still there and the _hurt _is still there, and once again she wishes she could have just been there, if only to justify the feeling that's settled in her chest and won't go away.

No, that isn't true. She just can't stand knowing that she couldn't be there for them. They're her _family _now, even if they don't all know it. Even Wally is-

At the table Wally pushes himself back into a proper sitting position, pointedly not looking at her. He's snatched up the apple again and this time he's tossing it back and forth between his hands. And he's saying something that she can't hear, undoubtedly something he probably doesn't want her to hear, otherwise he'd speak up, because Wally is never one for being _quiet._

"Wally?" She shifts uncomfortably in the doorway, unsure of what to say to him now, of how to react and she's hoping so much that he hasn't noticed the tears gathering in her eyes-

"Y-you-" His voice is rough and hoarse and he finally looks at her and she can't even bring herself to look into his eyes now because- "You _died_, Artemis."

He's been crying. He's definitely been crying. His eyes are still red and swollen and his shoulders shake slightly as he finally sets the apple down in front of him. "I thought- _We_thought you were- you were-"

Artemis hesitates slightly and fights back her own tears as she moves to sit down across from him. He diverts his gaze as she settles into the chair, fixing it once more onto the apple as if, by doing so, maybe he can pretend she isn't there to see him like this.

"Do you-" she drags in a deep breath, "Do you want to, maybe, talk about it?"

She wants to know. She'd be lying if she said she didn't. And part of her whispers, somewhere deep in her mind, that she really, really probably doesn't need to know. That maybe it's better if she never finds out. That maybe it will save her a lot of grief, but again the guilt is back, because she isn't suffering like the rest of the team is, like they will for a while if even Wally is in _tears_over this.

So, yeah, she wants to know. She deserves to shoulder this knowledge as well. She deserves to suffer and cry and hate herself over this, more so than the others because-

This is her fault, if she hadn't died none of this would have happened. if she hadn't screwed up and-

"It was just-" Wally draws in a shuddering breath and looks up at her from across the table. "I-it was just the two of us in the end," he whispers, "Me and Robin-" He looks away again as he trails off, letting his head fall back to stare up at the ceiling. "And Megan she- She got away so it was just us and I was so so sure I was going to-"

Artemis can almost imagine it as if she were there. As if she's in his head right now and- Just Robin and Wally left to fight against the entire alien force, ready to die together.

"I remember thinking that- That if I had to die, there was no one else I would have rather died fighting beside."

He drops his head to stare at her and there's so much emotion in his eyes. He wipes at them with his sleeves and she drops her gaze away, wonders if maybe it would be better to leave, to give him some privacy.

"I- Would you like me to-" She pushes the chair back, ready to stand up should he give the word, only for him to catch her arm from across the table.

"No, stay. I-" His adams apple bobs as he swallows nervously, fingers tightening just so around her arm. "I don't- I don't want to be alone right now."

She nods and situates herself back in the chair.

"I-I'm sorry," he whispers suddenly and she blinks in surprise at the apology, sliding her arm out of his grip so she can squeeze his hand instead. "I- I didn't mean to get all- I shouldn't have-"

"Wally its- It's _fine, _Wally."

"I- I just, it wasn't so bad in the end, knowing I was going to-" He pauses and Artemis tightens her her hand around his. "Everyone was dead, so-"

"Wally-"

"You- Do you remember that red haired reporter in the beginning? The one on the- On the-"

Artemis nods, because she had been there for that, to see the Central City reporter die on live tv and-

"She was- She was my aunt- _Is _my aunt," Wally chokes out, and his eyes are back on the table, back on the apple, and his shoulders are shaking slightly. "She's like- She's like a mother to me, more of a mother than my own and- I watched her _die. _Right there. And I didn't even grieve and- It makes since _now_, and it didn't even occur to me to do so then and just- It feels so _real _looking back on it now that I-"

"I-I'm so, _so _sorry, Wally, I- I can't even imagine-"

"It's- It's fine. I'm sorry, I- I shouldn't have-"

She grips his hand hard and his sentence is cut short as she drags him forward. She can hear the apple go rolling off the table to land on the floor with a soft thud, and she pulls him into a hug.

It's probably the most awkwardly performed hug in the history of hugs, with him now standing, leaning half over the table, and her kneeling half in the chair and half on the table to try and make this work. And he stiffens in her arms and yeah, it's definitely a strange hug and she kind of regrets sitting opposite him and putting herself at such a hugging disadvantage. It doesn't matter, though, because he finally relaxes against her and lifts his arms to wrap them around her. And he's still shaking slightly as he buries his face against her shoulder and she pulls him as close as possible with her arms, sliding them over his shoulders to settle them around his neck.

"You- You _died_, Artemis, you were _dead_. I- I saw it happen and- And I- I-" His voice is muffled against her neck as he speaks but she can still hear him.

She tightens her hold on him.

"I know, Wally. And- And I'm so, so _sorry_."


End file.
